You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
