ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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