goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
