id be glad to
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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