oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize