Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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