im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
