Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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