somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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