he wants to bone in the snuggie
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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