his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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