so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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