i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
