As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
