with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
