her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
