Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
