ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
