brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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