Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize