CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
