one might say we're banned from that church
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
