We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
