i barfeds in our rink
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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