Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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