Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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