Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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