the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
