Plan B is the new Plan A
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
