I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
