But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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