isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
