Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i now understand why vodka
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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