Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
