You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
