I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In America we eat man semen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize