I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
