Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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