DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize