can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
