so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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