My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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