even my farts smell like vagina
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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