I am in a vortex of obligation.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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