You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who died my cat blue again?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
