the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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