You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
