You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
