i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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