she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
