your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
