eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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