so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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