Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
