It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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