he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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