oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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