apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
