ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
