Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
