..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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