Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
