if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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