Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
