Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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